Hawk (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
desertdaggers) wrote2012-08-01 06:16 pm
desertdaggers) wrote2012-08-01 06:16 pm
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So the memories happened! And then some other things… and then it all got taken away. Hawk… Hawk is not okay.
This is kind of a bunch of stuff, I'm… probably going to forget things, so chances are I might add to this. Anyway!
So quick summary: Hawk had a family who were pretty relaxed- parents at least, Kanaya and he were cousins, I don't think anything else got officially named/decided. I… like the thought that he had a sibling, but since that never got mentioned let's assume he didn't. …Hawk as an only child doesn't really work for me! Basically because the Guild was family, so… there would have been other kids, I think and Hawk probably looked after a bunch of younger ones at some point. But obviously he didn't remember any of this! So he would mostly dropped in on other people and probably in on Kanaya's folks a lot when they were kids because… hmm, Hawk is pretty social, really! I mean, a fair bit of that is pretty ingrained from people continually barging in and there just not being a lot of privacy around the Guild but yeah, I think Hawk was probably pretty extroverted in the first place.
…all of which basically amounts to Hawk kind of… feeling he has a lot of responsibilities, through the Guild and all. And that's… kind of been a running thing, because the times before this, he's had something urgent to get back to- saving Jessica, drawing the Sword… And while he's less entirely worried about the Guild, because everyone's sane now (more or less), he can trust the others in charge of getting things done to get it done… the Guild is still kind of a mess, and it's going to be a long term project. And the Guild is home, and family, and this is being done partly in Eagle's honour. So Hawk feels it's kind of his duty to stick with this and make things work! And… he did also promise to look after Jessica, pretty much- those were Eagle's last words to him, so. It's not… something he thinks of as 'duty', it's just… part of what he does.
But with this last plot, Hawk didn't remember any of that, and it effectively lifted a lot of responsibility from his shoulders- I mean, I do feel that Hawk was expected to look after himself and pretty much did/was totally capable but could also just… mess around a lot. I think he would have been working part-time, at least, too, but it was all pretty chill and he turned up on time and managed customers well and maybe had a bit of a gift for jollying them into purchases they'd been unsure about. And Hawk got to be more of what we'd consider a teenager, so that was all cool.
By that, I mean basically the balance of valuing the self against the weight of the society! I figure the Guild values society to- hmm, not entirely the exclusion of the individual, but possibly to an extent where it feels like it, sometimes. Not necessarily to everyone- it's actually mentioned at one point that Nikita- bipedal cat, pretty close friend of Hawk's, I think he's a bit older but that's a guess- Nikita runs off from his group of merchant cats to the Guild because of the freedom- but I think Hawk has ended up closer to the leadership and all that, so it's not quite the same. With all this, though, individual considerations were more prominent, and it's kind of a pretty prominent shift. Not that Hawk wouldn't have looked out for the others! Since basically they're all extended family in one shape or another, which is a bit of a mix of how Hawk feels about them all normally (comrades bound together by circumstance) and their shared connections in the town. So that's probably the easiest part out of everything for Hawk to deal with- that hasn't changed much.
The responsibilities are, though, and- Hawk would rather bite his tongue and choke than admit it, because it's selfish and it feels like devaluing everyone's lives, but- to an extent, he wishes it could have been the real situation. Everyone was pretty much family, and happy, and now… well, the truth is probably better than a dream, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. And… well. Hawk's admired Fuu pretty much since the first time they talked, and those feelings developed… He didn't intend to act on them, really, because she already has someone and he… really does kind of hope it works out for them! because gosh, they deserve to be happy. Also,they're in separate separate worlds. And that probably wouldn't go well, even if their worlds didn't seem to be going at different speeds. (I… don't keep track in-game that well, but I estimate SD3 takes a few months, at least.) Except then they did confess! And that was fantastic and lovely and Hawk was more or less walking on air
aaaaaand then it all got screwed over.
Hawk is… kind of managing, at the moment, but it's… you could probably get through it pretty easily. Give him something else to focus on and he'll do better, but he may well just fall apart at some point. …I have no idea how he's… going to handle seeing Fuu again.
…also I'm not sure how much anyone is hearing about the Wayfinders but that will just… so much heartache and "yes okay that's… that's a brilliant idea really" and hmm I think presents for everyone would help Hawk's feelings some. (The trouble is I'm going… 'protective charms? dice? :|a' and… idk. Hawk isn't trained or the right class for that really so that could be interesting!]
There's also kind of a thing he's not considering so much at the moment but will probably come into play later- without the memories, Lumi are less absolutely adopted family, but they're still sort of family, so that's another division. And then… in theory, everyone would be going to their own things, Croix and Sophie and Fuu and Wash and whoever I'm forgetting going home, Jamie, the Doctor, and Xion going off in the TARDIS (I'm assuming), and Ichijou staying (though… Ichijou is admittedly kind of on an outer layer of the grouping). So that's a lot of divisions.
So that's about it for current Luministi feels.
The other thing I wanted to talk about a little is leadership stuff- I mentioned above I think Hawk would kind of be close to that side of things. He's best friends with Eagle and Jessica, Flamekhan's children, Eagle actually says that he and Hawk have pretty much be like brothers, so… Hawk would be in a fairly good position to be considered to be part of whatever next generation leadership the Guild ends up with. Depending on which model Flamekhan decides to go with (and Flamekhan's… idk, fifties, at least?). And it would be a huge coup to have one of the heroes of the world leading the Guild, it'd lend a certain credibility.
…I actually think Hawk wouldn't necessarily want to lead the Guild, but… canon!Hawk could probably manage, at least for long enough to figure out how he could deal with it long term, or call in other people as needed. Luministi!Hawk… it would depend on what cycle of missing people he was on, and how long it'd been. The further away it is, the more likely he'd be to say yes, he can deal with it long enough to get shit sorted. Since he's not sure he can devote 100% of his heart to the Guild at that point, but if it wasn't just him… it would maybe work.
If it was fairly close to when he got back, and when he was at a point where he was missing everyone really hard (and this is what I would really like to play with, because people flipping their shit kyah kyah), I think… I think Hawk would just freeze. Completely 'what… are you for real what is wrong with you' and thaaaaat's not how you're supposed to react so everyone kind of gives each other looks and shifts anxiously all 'something's wrong, what do we do…'
Eventually Hawk remembers himself, pulls himself up, manages an expression that's very polite, very formal, says "no" and then after a few moments, "thank you"
turns and leaves
Jessica probably goes and sorts something out and calms her father down but Hawk… is not holding up well and maybe manages to stay for a day or so before leaving to Not Cope But Work Something Out Hopefully somewhere else.
…and that's pretty much all so.
This is kind of a bunch of stuff, I'm… probably going to forget things, so chances are I might add to this. Anyway!
So quick summary: Hawk had a family who were pretty relaxed- parents at least, Kanaya and he were cousins, I don't think anything else got officially named/decided. I… like the thought that he had a sibling, but since that never got mentioned let's assume he didn't. …Hawk as an only child doesn't really work for me! Basically because the Guild was family, so… there would have been other kids, I think and Hawk probably looked after a bunch of younger ones at some point. But obviously he didn't remember any of this! So he would mostly dropped in on other people and probably in on Kanaya's folks a lot when they were kids because… hmm, Hawk is pretty social, really! I mean, a fair bit of that is pretty ingrained from people continually barging in and there just not being a lot of privacy around the Guild but yeah, I think Hawk was probably pretty extroverted in the first place.
…all of which basically amounts to Hawk kind of… feeling he has a lot of responsibilities, through the Guild and all. And that's… kind of been a running thing, because the times before this, he's had something urgent to get back to- saving Jessica, drawing the Sword… And while he's less entirely worried about the Guild, because everyone's sane now (more or less), he can trust the others in charge of getting things done to get it done… the Guild is still kind of a mess, and it's going to be a long term project. And the Guild is home, and family, and this is being done partly in Eagle's honour. So Hawk feels it's kind of his duty to stick with this and make things work! And… he did also promise to look after Jessica, pretty much- those were Eagle's last words to him, so. It's not… something he thinks of as 'duty', it's just… part of what he does.
But with this last plot, Hawk didn't remember any of that, and it effectively lifted a lot of responsibility from his shoulders- I mean, I do feel that Hawk was expected to look after himself and pretty much did/was totally capable but could also just… mess around a lot. I think he would have been working part-time, at least, too, but it was all pretty chill and he turned up on time and managed customers well and maybe had a bit of a gift for jollying them into purchases they'd been unsure about. And Hawk got to be more of what we'd consider a teenager, so that was all cool.
By that, I mean basically the balance of valuing the self against the weight of the society! I figure the Guild values society to- hmm, not entirely the exclusion of the individual, but possibly to an extent where it feels like it, sometimes. Not necessarily to everyone- it's actually mentioned at one point that Nikita- bipedal cat, pretty close friend of Hawk's, I think he's a bit older but that's a guess- Nikita runs off from his group of merchant cats to the Guild because of the freedom- but I think Hawk has ended up closer to the leadership and all that, so it's not quite the same. With all this, though, individual considerations were more prominent, and it's kind of a pretty prominent shift. Not that Hawk wouldn't have looked out for the others! Since basically they're all extended family in one shape or another, which is a bit of a mix of how Hawk feels about them all normally (comrades bound together by circumstance) and their shared connections in the town. So that's probably the easiest part out of everything for Hawk to deal with- that hasn't changed much.
The responsibilities are, though, and- Hawk would rather bite his tongue and choke than admit it, because it's selfish and it feels like devaluing everyone's lives, but- to an extent, he wishes it could have been the real situation. Everyone was pretty much family, and happy, and now… well, the truth is probably better than a dream, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck. And… well. Hawk's admired Fuu pretty much since the first time they talked, and those feelings developed… He didn't intend to act on them, really, because she already has someone and he… really does kind of hope it works out for them! because gosh, they deserve to be happy. Also,they're in separate separate worlds. And that probably wouldn't go well, even if their worlds didn't seem to be going at different speeds. (I… don't keep track in-game that well, but I estimate SD3 takes a few months, at least.) Except then they did confess! And that was fantastic and lovely and Hawk was more or less walking on air
aaaaaand then it all got screwed over.
Hawk is… kind of managing, at the moment, but it's… you could probably get through it pretty easily. Give him something else to focus on and he'll do better, but he may well just fall apart at some point. …I have no idea how he's… going to handle seeing Fuu again.
…also I'm not sure how much anyone is hearing about the Wayfinders but that will just… so much heartache and "yes okay that's… that's a brilliant idea really" and hmm I think presents for everyone would help Hawk's feelings some. (The trouble is I'm going… 'protective charms? dice? :|a' and… idk. Hawk isn't trained or the right class for that really so that could be interesting!]
There's also kind of a thing he's not considering so much at the moment but will probably come into play later- without the memories, Lumi are less absolutely adopted family, but they're still sort of family, so that's another division. And then… in theory, everyone would be going to their own things, Croix and Sophie and Fuu and Wash and whoever I'm forgetting going home, Jamie, the Doctor, and Xion going off in the TARDIS (I'm assuming), and Ichijou staying (though… Ichijou is admittedly kind of on an outer layer of the grouping). So that's a lot of divisions.
So that's about it for current Luministi feels.
The other thing I wanted to talk about a little is leadership stuff- I mentioned above I think Hawk would kind of be close to that side of things. He's best friends with Eagle and Jessica, Flamekhan's children, Eagle actually says that he and Hawk have pretty much be like brothers, so… Hawk would be in a fairly good position to be considered to be part of whatever next generation leadership the Guild ends up with. Depending on which model Flamekhan decides to go with (and Flamekhan's… idk, fifties, at least?). And it would be a huge coup to have one of the heroes of the world leading the Guild, it'd lend a certain credibility.
…I actually think Hawk wouldn't necessarily want to lead the Guild, but… canon!Hawk could probably manage, at least for long enough to figure out how he could deal with it long term, or call in other people as needed. Luministi!Hawk… it would depend on what cycle of missing people he was on, and how long it'd been. The further away it is, the more likely he'd be to say yes, he can deal with it long enough to get shit sorted. Since he's not sure he can devote 100% of his heart to the Guild at that point, but if it wasn't just him… it would maybe work.
If it was fairly close to when he got back, and when he was at a point where he was missing everyone really hard (and this is what I would really like to play with, because people flipping their shit kyah kyah), I think… I think Hawk would just freeze. Completely 'what… are you for real what is wrong with you' and thaaaaat's not how you're supposed to react so everyone kind of gives each other looks and shifts anxiously all 'something's wrong, what do we do…'
Eventually Hawk remembers himself, pulls himself up, manages an expression that's very polite, very formal, says "no" and then after a few moments, "thank you"
turns and leaves
Jessica probably goes and sorts something out and calms her father down but Hawk… is not holding up well and maybe manages to stay for a day or so before leaving to Not Cope But Work Something Out Hopefully somewhere else.
…and that's pretty much all so.